Meet Cheryl

At a recent retreat with colleagues, I was awarded two certificates. One for being a ‘continuous learner’ and one for being ‘most likely to cry.’ That about sums me up.

I’m skilled and silly, and I tell my clients about my struggles because going to therapy is vulnerable and scary. I want them to know I know what it’s like to be on that side of the exchange and that I’m pulling for them every step of the way.

The concept of therapy is mysterious.

So you sit in a room and talk to a stranger, and that is supposed to… do what exactly? TV and movies show us casual conversations about the character’s latest developments so they can move the plot along and show us what that character is thinking. They don’t show us anything about how change actually happens.

So how does it work?

Empathy and compassionate listening are essential, but they aren’t sufficient to create change. When I left grad school with the degree that supposedly meant I was a therapist, that’s about all I was trained to do.

I wasn’t satisfied with that, so I’ve spent years training to do more.

TEAM-CBT is both structured and flexible.

Do you like to understand things fully? To know what’s happening or why treatment is working or not working? If you do, this is the approach for you. When you leave therapy with me, my hope is that you’ll have learned the how and why of everything we’ve used together. That way, you’ll not only resolve the problems that are bothering you today, but you’ll also have the skills to be your own therapist for life.

Keys to Treatment Success

Homework

To get the most out of our work together, I’ll ask you to set aside at least 15 minutes a day to work on your own. You might be writing or reading or listening to a podcast - the main idea is that we’re usually limited to 50 minutes per week and we won’t get far in that time. The results you’ll see will depend on your willingness to practice between sessions.

Testing

Before each session, you’ll fill out a survey about your mood. It’s an extra step for you, but it helps us get to the heart of our work more quickly and gives me a more accurate sense of how you’re doing than just asking would. Right after the session, you’ll fill out another survey with feedback for me on how it went. This way, I can address any blunders I make.

Focus

We’ll choose just one goal to address at a time. Focus gets challenging as time passes and life presents new problems. Maybe work was your initial focus, then two weeks in, you have a presentation go badly at work. Sticking with our initial goal, though, is our best shot at achieving great results. Otherwise, we risk making partial progress in lots of areas but never resolving any of them.

Frequently Asked Questions

  • Loaded question, right?

    Of course not!

    Perfectionism shows up in a lot of different ways. Some are extraordinarily neat and some (raises hand sheepishly) are extraordinarily NOT. My perfectionism is more likely to get in the way of calling something “finished.” That also means it's not motivating to start, because I’m not anticipating any of the rewards I'd expect from getting stuff done.

    If you have high standards but hesitate to call yourself a perfectionist because you’re always running late or you procrastinate, don’t worry. You’re in the right spot. How is perfectionism affecting you?

    Can’t Stop

    You're driven and successful. You have a ton of accomplishments to your name, but you catch yourself wondering why you're putting in all this hard work. Every achievement is only briefly satisfying before you start gunning for the next one. You're never at rest, rarely proud of how far you've gotten, and it always feels like it could've been more.

    Can’t Start

    Sometimes you struggle to even get out of bed. You're at a loss about how to get started on your goals. You doubt your ability to make your own decisions, feel confused about what you should be doing at any given moment and struggle with procrastination. You're ambitious but feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the path from here to there.

    Never Enough

    You work so hard to put your values into action, to protect vulnerable people and make the world a more compassionate place. At the same time, you're terrified about what the future might hold and find it hard to sleep at night. You worry sometimes if you're doing enough, or if other people knew you for real, would they still like and respect you?

    All of the Above

    They're not mutually exclusive! Sometimes people are "can't stop" in one part of their lives and "can't start" in another. Categories are all made up but they can be helpful nonetheless.

  • My own perfectionism is mainly in the "can't start" category.

    I'm very familiar with feeling overwhelmed, and when a project feels too big, or a goal feels too far off, I struggle to move forward. When I feel that way, I have to remind myself to take it one step at a time.

    For misguided reasons, I was a language major in college and in that process, I learned the saying: "Petit a petit, l'oiseau fait son nid."

    Little by little (bit by bit), the bird builds its nest.

    Bit by bit.

    Break it down.

    What's the very next, very tiniest step?

    When I focus on that very next, very tiniest step, I can usually get myself to start.

    Bonus: birds' nests are breathtaking when you think about it. The ability to weave without the advantage of opposable thumbs is mind-blowing!

  • When I'm not working, you'll find me most often with headphones in, listening to a podcast. I love reading books and watching TV and movies. I’m secretly always hoping that one of my two cats will decide to take a nap on me so I can’t get up. Obviously.

    I used to be a huge reader! I have a stack waiting for my attention, but my phone has captured most of my reading time for the past few years. If I'm not scrolling somewhere, I'm probably playing I Love Hue (I play so much I Love Hue).

    I played some video games as a kid, but not much, so I avoided them for a long time because there were skills I never picked up when I was younger. An unexpected benefit of lowering my perfectionism is that I have much more access to fun and play! I can play terribly and still have fun because I’m not embarrassed or ashamed, thinking that my lack of skill means something bigger about me as a person. I love the newest Zelda games and Stardew Valley - there’s something about resolving ten intermediate goals to get to a larger goal that I find delightful.

Learn More

Click below to learn more about my practice and whether it’s a good fit.