Depression Therapist in Atlanta
Joy Just Out of Reach
When every happy thing you see is a painful reminder of what you don’t have, it’s tough to get through the bare minimum, let alone take any steps to measurably change the shape of your life. You suspect that if you could only change jobs, move cities, make new friends, leave this relationship, get a new place, then things would be better. But each one feels so overwhelming it might as well be impossible.
Everywhere you turn, you’re reminded of other people who are thriving, happy, surrounded by friends and achieving the thing you want to achieve.
What Does Perfectionism Have to do with Depression?
We look around at what other people have. Their lives seem so ideal it’s easy to feel inferior and resentful. Mere seconds later, we tack on feeling guilty for our lack of gratitude.
We think, “I should be better at life,” or “Why can’t I just get it together?” We torture ourselves with self-criticism. We convince ourselves nothing will improve and feel overwhelmed by the prospect of taking any steps to improve them.
The reality of our own shortcomings and the inferiority of our achievements seems self-evident.
Perfectionists are plagued by negative, self-critical thoughts, which set up a vicious cycle. Telling myself, “I’m an idiot,” is a surefire way to make me less friendly and personable. Once that’s happening, I’m more likely to have a miserable time and not want to leave my house again.
Punishing thoughts are draining, they sap our energy and isolate us socially. We lose motivation and get stalled out by procrastination. We can’t seem to get ourselves to finish a dissertation, face a difficult conversation, or take on a new project at work. It feels safer and more familiar to avoid doing something that might go badly. But there’s still no relief because we beat up on ourselves for failing to reach our goals.
How would your life change if you felt at ease as your flawed, genuine self?
How Depression Treatment Works
As easy as it can sound to “embrace your flaws,” it really doesn’t come easy. If you woke up tomorrow with that plan, what would “step one” even look like? Luckily, we have structure and incredible tools to help us change our negative thoughts.
It’s exhausting to battle with yourself—to feel like you are the thing getting in your own way. In fact, the parts of you that are struggling are likely the most beautiful parts of you.
Your high standards come from deep values. They’re an attempt to create the best life, sometimes the best world, possible. Together, we can help you find relief and joy while still holding on to those important values.
Depression has similarities comes in different forms, and the model that helps you specifically will be unique to you. To treat your depression, we have some options that will inform the steps we take. We'll identify your thoughts, uncover unconscious motivations, offer you tools to improve your relationships, and consider changing habits that are holding you back.
Depression Treatment
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“I’m such a failure” and “Why bother even trying?”
If you’re suffering with depression, thoughts like these are enough to keep you stuck and defeated. Every goal seems so far out of reach it feels impossible to take the first step.
We have powerful tools to generate new, positive thoughts that will crush your negative thoughts and not just lower your depression but increase your fulfillment. This process is powerful and effective and our goal is for you to leave knowing how to replicate it on your own for the rest of your life. You can read more about it here.
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As counter-intuitive as it might sound, depression is usually protective. If you don’t get your hopes up, you won’t be as disappointed when things don’t work out. It’s also an attempt at motivation gone horribly awry. You punish yourself because you want to change your behavior. Unfortunately, the punishment usually saps all your energy and keeps you from using that motivation as fuel.
Recognizing your unconscious motivations is an important step in understanding what makes you tick and why it’s been so hard to get yourself to do anything.
It’s also powerful to recognize all the ways depression reveals what is most important to us. It’s such a painful experience that it can be tough to see anything at all positive about it, but when we look carefully, without disregarding or diminishing the real suffering, the positives are in there too.
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Interpersonal problems are almost always a feature of depression. We fear that we’re alone, that nobody else could get us, that if they knew the real us, people would reject us. In fact, we’re keeping people at arm’s length by pretending to be fine and flawless and preventing them from getting to know us for real.
Learning to face those fears opens up a whole new world of deeper connections, meaningful relationships, and a sense of ease everywhere you go. Depression is often so pervasive that a trip to the grocery store can feel stressful and draining. It’s easy to wonder what every stranger might be thinking of you, how to draw the least attention to yourself possible. Becoming comfortable in your own skin changes so many parts of your life, it’s hard to even imagine it.
Beyond those superficial relationships, we also have tools that can help you deepen and improve the most important relationships in your life. Your family, your partner, your coworkers—all the people who influence your sense of identity and the majority of the time you spend awake—you can have warmer, more connected relationships with them.
How would your life look if you felt good about your relationships? If you felt confident you could navigate conflict and be honest about your fears and hurts and still be close?
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We all have habits that contribute to our unhappiness and feel almost powerless to change them. Sometimes we feel inspired and change them for a few weeks or a month but then go back to our default.
Imagine being on better terms with yourself and feeling capable. If you could choose what you wanted to change and feel assured that you could make it stick. What would you change? How would your life improve? Would you be in less pain? Spend more time on the goals that matter to you? Have hobbies you love or make new friends?
Even with all the tools at our disposal, changing habits still won’t be easy. There’s still a chance it’ll be the most rewarding thing you’ve done in years.
Tying It All Together
Everyone comes in with different goals and a unique way that depression is causing pain and difficulty in their lives. The models we use together will depend on what you most want to change and what will have the biggest payoff for you. Whichever we choose, I want you to leave my practice feeling empowered to use them for life.
For Depression Treatment in Decatur or Brookhaven, Buckhead or Grant Park, click here to learn more.
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