How to Stop Putting Things Off: A Comprehensive Guide
It feels beyond your control and baffles you and everyone who knows you’re procrastinating. You’ve tried lots of different things to change it, but you’re still not making progress. The approach described here differs from the productivity hacks and list-making tools you’ve seen before. If you’ve tried and failed to change your motivation level, you’re probably discouraged, and with good reason. I’m confident that there’s something new in here for you.
First Things First
This post is a comprehensive guide. It is very long. If you spend the 40-plus-minutes it will take you to read all of it, I’ll show you how to stop putting things off.
By the end, you will have worked through a full course of therapy for procrastination. If we were working together on this in therapy, it would probably take at least 6 sessions to walk through this process, so give yourself time. Going through it on your own will take you longer than 40 minutes because you’ll want to stop and write things down at times. Bookmark this page, set aside the time to read it in depth, and commit to following through on what you learn.
Every so often, I’ll encourage you to write something down or take some other action. I’ve created a downloadable guide to help you follow the steps. As you read, you’ll see prompts or questions marked with a star (like the one below this paragraph) that corresponds to a spot in the guide. If you prefer, you can write down your answers on any sheet of paper (or electronic file) you have handy. Walk through the process and learn how to stop putting things off.
It’s important to remember that every one of us has unique strengths and pitfalls. Your process will be different from mine in important ways. By reading about my process, you will find new ways to think about your own. If you put in the time, I believe you will find at least one element that creates significant change.
Step One: Understand and Describe Your Procrastination
Procrastination is Extremely Common
My friend just left a full-time job that expected her to be on the clock for forty hours a week. Now working for herself, she needs to set her schedule and hold herself accountable for finishing projects. It has been a struggle not just to stick to her plans but also a shock that she’s less happy now than when she had a boss she didn’t like.
This phenomenon is much more common than I ever realized before I ran into it in my own life. Working in private practice means no one else determines when I do my work or how much I get done. The absence of outside accountability means that other priorities intrude all the time.
My dog wants a walk, my kids get home from school and fill me in on their day, a friend calls, or the laundry beckons. Those are just the distractions that come from other people in my real life! I also regularly look up and notice I’m not on task because I switched to checking email, scanning the open tabs in my browser, or looking at my phone.
Autonomy seems fantastic but comes at a cost.
Some people thrive in self-directed environments. It couldn’t be me, but I know folks who follow their task lists and calendars religiously, regardless of anyone else knowing or caring. They think, “I wrote it down and said I would do it; therefore, I must!”
For many people, though, being both boss and employee is a recipe for struggle. Students, the self-employed, artists, writers, retirees, and stay-at-home-parents face this challenge. People who have bosses envy this condition because it seems ideal from the outside. Get rid of all the dumb stuff your boss thinks you should do and use all your great ideas, not just the ones someone else greenlights.
Other people help us stay motivated.
Working in a physical location with a boss and coworkers present contributes to (more) focused work for a lot of folks.
1. Having a boss who might stop by and form an impression of your progress,
2. Attending meetings and giving updates on deadlines, or being visible to colleagues doing similar work,
3. Knowing there’s a chance someone will walk by and see you wasting time.
So you stay on task to avoid the pain of embarrassment or even a bad performance evaluation. So if you’re home with no one tracking your progress but yourself, how do you get yourself to accomplish your most odious tasks?
If you don’t know how to stop procrastinating at work, you’re in good company.
Many more people have joined these ranks in the last few years; working from home is now ordinary instead of exceptional. Work-from-homers might still report to a boss, but the structures, routines, and rewards of work have changed drastically. The challenge of how to stop procrastinating at work is pervasive.
Worse, with everyone siloed off alone, we start to believe that we are unique and that our procrastination indicates a deep personal flaw or defect. On top of all that, it starts to feel like it’s out of our hands - like we can’t stop procrastinating no matter how hard we try.
EVERYBODY puts things off. For some people, though, procrastination is excruciating.
Procrastination is on a spectrum. If we define “procrastination” as a single moment of delaying an unpleasant task, everyone procrastinates all the time. Even if you’re doing one unpleasant task, there’s another that’s not getting done while you work.
At one end of the procrastination spectrum, you might have a healthy recognition that time and human capacity are limited. On the other end, though, is a form of procrastination that dominates life.
For procrastinators whose full-time jobs are flexible, the challenge to stay focused is a full-time prospect. When there are 40 hours each week to contend with, there’s an excellent chance you will struggle to spend all of them the way you want to.
Procrastination and Depression
One of the most painful features of this problem for me is that I feel as though I’m at war with myself. I no longer have an antagonistic relationship with a boss who makes me angry and upset. When my day is over, I’m frustrated, discouraged, and disappointed in myself.
What’s more, I have sometimes felt completely at a loss as to how to stop procrastinating at work. I can decide today that tomorrow is going to go differently and then fall into the same familiar ruts.
Feeling motivated and productive are linked to all kinds of other good feelings - accomplishment, pride, hope, and satisfaction. When those feelings are low, though, we usually feel depressed. Does that mean that achievement is the opposite of depression? No!
Feeling productive and motivated aren’t necessarily connected to status, money, or achievements. We feel motivated and productive when we’re satisfied with how we spend our time and have the energy to do more of it. You could feel productive and motivated by making a grilled cheese sandwich, taking a nap, or working on a spreadsheet.
Assess your motivation to stop putting things off:
We’ll check in about this a few times along the way, but here at the start, when we’ve just reminded ourselves how awful procrastination feels, how much do you want to change? If you had to rate your motivation from 0-100, what’s your rating? I’m guessing you’d rather keep reading, but it’ll help later if you write it down now.
And 0-100, how much does procrastination bother you? Assuming you can’t stop procrastinating, Is it causing significant problems in your life? Is it getting in your way daily? A few times a week?
One tool in our arsenal is getting specific. Instead of thinking about “procrastination” as a vast, looming cloud, we’ll find ways to break it down and make it more manageable. One part of that to that is to put numbers on your motivation and the pain you’re experiencing. That will also help us tell later on if we’ve made a difference.
Noticing How Procrastination Works
Before doing anything to change the situation, I just paid attention. I took notes on what was happening with my level of focus during my workdays. Here’s a picture of how this works for me on many days:
I opened this software to write these words.
I remembered an email I’d forgotten to forward to a colleague two minutes later.
I stopped writing, switched to my web browser, and looked at my inbox.
I forgot what I was there to do and started scanning all my other emails.
I felt mesmerized by the waves of 17 different emotions and impulses.
None of them was a significant emotional wave, but 17 is a lot of thought sequences to experience without carrying any of them out to a conclusion. I don’t even notice most of the feelings as they come!
I eventually realized that I wasn’t getting any work done and returned to writing.
I felt bummed, but I wasn’t sure why.
Putting things off is universal. Your experience is specific.
The above is a top-level description of how some of my time passes. There will be people who read this and see themselves in it. Others will have specific hurdles so different from mine that my details will feel alien. The important thing to take from it is the process of noticing rather than the specific things I noticed.
What have you noticed about your patterns of procrastination? If you paid attention tomorrow, what would you see? Where do you wander, and what thoughts do you typically have?
Noticing vs. Being on Autopilot
Turning your attention to your thoughts and feelings will take practice. It might feel like it should come naturally but very likely won’t.
You’ll set out in the morning to notice them, and hours into your day, you’ll realize you have no idea what they were. If you haven’t spent time doing it before, it will feel awkward. The vocabulary might be new to you, and it will feel strange to think about thinking because it is a skill that, like all skills, takes practice.
When I observed my distraction, I noticed a pattern: even though I had the thought “I can’t stop procrastinating,” even though it felt so out of my control, when I slowed down enough I could see some ways in. For example, I felt frazzled so often because I rarely focused on a single task or decision until I’d completed it. If we could listen in on my thoughts in more detail while I scanned my inbox, we’d hear something like this:
My Thought Process
“Oh! An ad from that company. Should I get one of those for so-and-so for their birthday? That’s coming up, soo -
Wait. Another email from my kid’s school. Wonder if there’s anything in it that I genuinely need to know this -
Ooooh - I heard back from so-and-so! I bet they love my idea. No, wait, maybe they hate -
Oh wait, don’t even look at that one - it’s from the person I had to reschedule with, and I bet they’re annoyed-
Huh, that’s the email I came here for, that’s right! What was I trying to do? Oh right. I was working on how to stop procrastinating at work.”
Observe your procrastinating brain.
The next time you sit down to work (or think about working and do something else instead), grab a blank sheet of paper (or the companion packet) and write about your observations. This is more work. I know. This space, though, which includes the skill of simply noticing is the space where we have influence. When I’m in the midst of distracting myself, it feels like I can’t stop procrastinating. Procrastination feels automatic, against our will, and outside the scope of our control. There’d be freedom in that, but it’d also be pretty hopeless. Observing what’s going on in your mind in those moments will start to give you some say in what comes next.
What do you do instead of working? What are your Achilles heels? Maybe you’re great at knocking out physical tasks (washing dishes, moving furniture) but always avoid phone calls.
Are you self-critical? Do decisions flummox you? Does the challenge to “be creative” stop you in your tracks? What are your most frequent distractions? Take some notes on your day and pay attention to the thoughts that run through your mind when you’re stuck.
My Observations
Here’s an example of one of my observations, in the hopes that seeing my process will give you more ideas about how to go about yours.
A sequence just like the following happens several times every day.
I have a goal to make progress on a task.
I start on the task and focus for a while.
I eventually have a feeling I don’t like (boredom, frustration, shame, or anxiety, for example).
To feel better, I send my mind in a different direction.
Distractions are short-term pain relief. When I feel bored, frustrated, discouraged, guilty, or anxious, I can distract myself and find temporary reprieve.
The roulette wheel of emotional turbulence is always available. I can distract myself and find relief from boredom, frustration, or discouragement at any moment. I can effortlessly replace the first emotional flood with a new one! The new feelings might not be good, but they will be different.
My personal habits include:
Scanning an email inbox.
Playing a game on my phone.
Listening to a podcast.
Watching YouTube or Tiktok.
Reading Twitter or Instagram.
Putting things off is rewarding (for a while).
Scroll through Twitter and notice that your brain rarely catches up with whatever you’re feeling at a given moment. Read one tweet and feel happy, sad, joyful, confused, angry, or guilty for half an instant before reading another and feeling an entirely different emotion.
There are parts of that experience that are incredibly valuable. All my distracting activities are also ways of learning more about the world, myself, and other people. They’re how I get news and stay connected to the world outside my office. The roulette wheel adds flavor and excitement to my day. I love being able to distract myself. I am human, and I move toward pleasure and away from pain.
What are your pitfalls or distractions?
When you want to avoid something, what do you find yourself doing instead? Do you stay in bed? Clean house instead of filing your taxes? Read the news?
We have good reasons to procrastinate at work.
Sometimes my work is dull or discouraging. Giving myself breaks shows I’m realistic and have compassion for myself. It’s reasonable to acknowledge that I need breaks and want to feel connected to other people.
I also need social interaction. I work at home and spend a lot of time alone. It delights me to see cute dog pictures and personal life updates, read weird jokes and roll my eyes at dumb arguments. It doesn’t replace a real-life social connection, but it’s an upgrade over a complete absence of other people.
Noticing my patterns wasn’t enough to change my habit on its own, but it has been one part of helping me continue to work. Observing and articulating what’s happening in these moments has made me feel more reasonable, less alone, and more competent.
Think about the last time you were bothered by procrastination. What were the emotions you were feeling? How intense were they? Your emotions are a powerful part of your experience of putting things off. Noticing and naming them won’t change them, but it’s a skill that will improve your relationship with them (with your feelings, I mean).
To summarize: Putting things off is a double-edged sword.
I feel compassion for myself. I see that it makes sense to end up where I have. At the same time, I hate ending a workday and feeling spent and scattered but seeing I didn’t get much done. There’s a difference between intentional rest and accidentally resting while avoiding something else.
Taking a break or two is essential. Taking a “break” that lasts hours (or an entire day) is demoralizing. When I’m putting off my work, the things I do instead aren’t fun or restful. I don’t create relaxation or happiness by sitting at my desk and avoiding work.
So, let’s say I want to change my habit of putting things off. What would I do? Literally – what’s the very next action I could take? If I wrote a to-do list for changing this habit, would it just say “do better”?
Step Two: The Magic Wand Question
What would I wish for if I could wave a magic wand and change something about my work and procrastination habits?
My first and second wishes aren’t available in real life:
1. I would be thrilled if I could wave the wand and have work completed without my doing it!
2. Failing that, I would love to have a team of people to keep me on track, cheer me on when I’m struggling, and check my work to see if it’s any good.
Given that those are impossible wishes, I settled on a realistic goal: My goal is to trust myself and feel good about the ways I spend my time.
A Leap of Faith
As scary as it feels, I want to like myself and enjoy my life before achieving my goals. Why would I say something like that? Well, having tried the other way, I can tell you that basing my self-esteem on the results of my work is a dangerous business.
Some of my plans take much longer than anticipated to work out! I can put in the effort but can’t control the outcome.
I also know that I never bask in success for very long. When I reach my goals, I immediately move on to new ones. If I decided to rely on self-criticism to motivate myself and count on accomplishing goals to achieve happiness, I’d be signing up for indefinite sadness.
Self-criticism is draining.
I would also, and this is crucial, find it difficult to feel creative and excited and trust that I have something worth offering.
The more I beat myself up, the less energy I have for putting effort into big projects. If I spent my days telling myself I’m a “lazy piece of sh*t,” I’d have less energy and courage to do the vulnerable work I’m aiming for.
This feels risky though.
It’s counterintuitive. Our culture operates primarily on threats and punishments.
I tried to track down an original source for this saying but it’s tricky.
If I want to start getting more done, not just hold myself to an impossible standard, I have better chances if I rely on carrots instead of sticks.
A Liveable Goal
If I could snap my fingers and make this better, I’d be able to trust myself to take action toward my goals. Most importantly, I would like my life and myself as much as possible along the way.
My goal might not be your ideal outcome. What’s your goal? Before you read more, pause and write it down. What wish would you make if you could wave a magic wand and stop procrastinating at work?
Okay. Got it? Did you write down your goal? What would be different if you could instantly resolve your procrastination? It might seem like a minor question, but it’s not.
Don’t stress too much if you’re not ready to start writing your goal down yet. If I were you, I would probably read this entire piece from beginning to end, then re-read it to apply the steps.
Remember: your job is to do these things badly for now. You might write down an impossible goal or something uninspiring and get stuck later. That’s okay. As long as you don’t stop trying, you’ll make progress.
The more you do, the easier it will get and the better you’ll get at finding a crumb that will lead you to your next step.
My Counterintuitive Dream Outcome
My wish probably seems a little odd. I do want to be able to focus and work productively. But when I look at the problem logically, I can see that I can’t “improve” myself out of this problem. If I suddenly gain the ability to focus and work at will, without ever distracting myself or delaying any task, I might not know when to stop. I could go from underworking to overworking. Moreover, I would be miserable throughout the process.
My top priority is to stop beating up on myself. It feels a little scary to let go of that as a tool. If I don’t beat up on myself for falling short, what’s to stop me from playing Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild all day?
Thankfully, I know I can be kinder to myself and still move toward my goals. I’m grateful to know this because beating myself up has been painful and ineffective.
I’ve proved that I get more done when I don’t spend so much time berating and belittling myself. Relying on threats and negative thoughts to motivate myself is familiar, but it’s draining and keeps me at war with myself. So let’s see if I can find my way to an approach that gets me working without the cruelty.
Step Three: Create a Specific Goal
Now that I’ve accepted that I can’t just magic the problem away, I need more detail. If my stated goal is just “stop procrastinating,” I’m doomed. We’ve already defined procrastination as one moment or more of avoiding a task. By that definition, I will never have a single day without procrastinating.
Defining victory is a challenge! How will I be able to tell if I’ve stopped procrastinating at work? What would be different if my effort to stop putting things off was wildly successful? How would I know that I had succeeded?
Beware the outcome-based goal!
I could set word targets for writing or aim for Inbox Zero. But then I would have problems with those on days when I’m in meetings and feel productive but don’t get to my email. If I have an extra busy week or have a headache, I’ll struggle to meet output-based goals like that. The main result I want to avoid is planning to focus on one task and wasting time instead.
Focusing on inputs seems likeliest to be successful in my case. I will start each week by reviewing my schedule and selecting a target number of “Pomodoros.”
Each Pomodoro is a 25-minute block during which I agree not to get up for a snack. I choose tasks at the outset (i.e., “for the next 25 minutes, I will work on x. ") and then focus exclusively on them. I commit not to switch to another task, not look for distractions, and not deviate from the plan.
I’ll aim for 20 fully on-task pomodoros in my first week.
My target might be too ambitious. It might not be ambitious enough!
When planning my first week, I might set my sights too high for success or even too low to make satisfying progress. Because I don’t know my baseline (I haven’t been counting Pomodoros until now!) I won’t know if my chosen goal is reasonable until I try. I will have the best chance at success here if I see this as an experiment.
What would serve as a goal for you to start out with? You might not know what’s reasonable just yet, but maybe you want to start with five minutes a week on making a dreaded phone call or pulling two things out of a closet that you’re not going to use anymore. Choose a place to start measuring and write it down.
Double-check: Is your goal clear and easy to measure? In other words, if you get to the end of a day, week, or month and ask: “Did I reach my goal?” will you be able to quickly answer “yes” or “no?”
I have a goal. Now what?
Now I have a specific goal. Time to hold my feet to the fire and expect 20 pomodoros next week?
Not just yet. Before I ask myself to do something as challenging as changing a habit, I need to consider all the great reasons not to change. It’s a little strange, I know. We’ve just finished talking about what’s so terrible about procrastination! At the same time, I will likely end up back here in a week if I don’t think about the benefits of putting things off.
Step Four: Appreciate the Status Quo
I’ve already mentioned a few benefits, but let’s do this more thoroughly. The following is a technique called the Triple Paradox. It involves making three lists: advantages, disadvantages, and values.
The paradox is that we’re intentionally not thinking about “the advantages of getting to work” or “the disadvantages of procrastination.” We could easily describe what’s painful about procrastination and why it would be good to change. Instead, we want to dig up as many examples as possible of reasons to stop trying to change.
What’s great about procrastinating?
We are looking for helpful and admirable things about procrastination. We get so used to thinking that we must stop putting things off that we almost try to crush ourselves into submission. Then, when we fail, we blame ourselves and hope that, eventually, self-loathing will create enough pain to cause us to change.
The way I am on my most procrastinating day makes sense. Getting more specific about that will make it easier to decide whether change is worthwhile. If I choose to change, making these lists will make it possible to keep choosing change, even when it gets discouraging.
Why not focus on reasons to stop procrastinating at work?
Wouldn’t it be more motivating to make a long list of reasons to get my act together? I’d like to get there eventually, but I don’t want to start there. I can be stubborn and push back against that kind of pep talk. When I was a kid, and my mom told me to clean my room, I suddenly wanted to stop even if I’d been planning on it earlier.
Every human being has good reasons for the things they do and the ways they are. If we skip those reasons, our efforts to change will likely fail.
I’ll struggle to stay focused, and all the good things about procrastinating will suddenly pipe up. They’ll be persuasive at that point if I haven’t given them due time in advance.
Alternatively, if I consider the positives and choose to change despite all the good reasons not to, I’ll be able to push back.
Making that list of reasons not to change and continue procrastinating can help me decide if a demanding change is worth the effort.
When you’re making your lists, these are the questions to keep in mind to get you thinking:
Advantages of Putting Things Off. What’s helpful about putting things off? What would I miss if someone pushed a button that (Liar, Liar-style) forced me into always being focused and efficient?
Disadvantages of Changing. What challenges will make this change extremely difficult and unpleasant?
Core Values I Show by Procrastinating. What do I like about myself that my procrastination reveals? How does putting things off (surprisingly!) show something positive about me and my values?
My Lists
Advantages
I can entertain myself more often and see funny, incredible things online.
It gives me enjoyable moments with my dumb phone game while listening to podcasts, learning about news, and hearing stories I love.
I spend more time doing things that are easy (scrolling, puttering around the house, playing phone and video games) and less time doing things I hate.
It takes less work to stick with the status quo.
Some of the time I spend not-working is time I spend on personal relationships; those connections are valuable.
Disadvantages of Changing
I’d have to write (or maintain focus) even when I was bored, annoyed, or stuck.
I might hold myself to a high standard. Then if I slip, I’ll beat up on myself.
It would take a lot of hard work and commitment to choose focus not once but many times every day.
I might find out I’m not good at the task I’m avoiding.
I might have to face criticism for the work I produce.
Values I Show By Procrastinating
I’m not a masochist! I’m so glad I have the impulse to protect myself from painful experiences. Imagine an opposite extreme: I lock myself into my work chair and work focused 10-hour days without a break.
Procrastinating is reasonable - one way to avoid procrastination would be to expect excellence at every instant and demand nothing less than total focus.
My specific distractions show I care about my relationships, delight, fun, and community.
It shows I have a somewhat rebellious spirit and resist feeling bullied into action.
When you make a genuine choice, as in “I want to get this done, despite all the good reasons not to,” your motivation is more likely to last.
We can all imagine long lists of goals we have for ourselves: to improve our relationships, continue our education, advance professionally, get physical activity, or start new hobbies. As much as we genuinely want those things, we are limited in time, energy, and commitment. I could increase my physical activity, add more vegetables to my plate, or read more books. But each of those would take time, effort, and energy. Out of every possible change I could make in my life, and after seeing everything in my Triple Paradox, why would I want to focus on procrastination?
For that matter, why would you?
You’ve likely gotten a whirlwind of mixed messages from the outside world. Whether it’s from people you know or strangers on the internet, advice about getting things done is easy to find.
“Just do it!”
“Procrastination is the thief of time.”
“Rise and Grind, Baby!”
If you find inspiration in those, you might be shaken when you come across opposing messages:
“You deserve rest - take a break,”
“The world is on fire! Are spreadsheets what you want to do with your one wild and precious life?”
All those sentiments have merit. Hard work has its rewards, and rest is critical. The problem is that none of those messages are rooted in the specifics of your values and your circumstances.
You might love getting rest and treasure lots of things other than spreadsheets. There might also be a spreadsheet between you and graduation, paying rent, or getting a promotion. Or maybe the “just do it” memes bring out your inner rebel and make you resentful of the work you need to do.
Only you can know the mix of rest and work that aligns with your values.
So I could choose not to stop putting things off?
I don’t propose this choice lightly. If it were so easy to decide not to try to get work done, I wouldn’t have been in procrastination hell myself. Committing to video games, novels, and naps for the rest of my life isn’t a valid option. If I attempted that, it wouldn’t be long before my life started going off the rails.
The actual choice I have to make is not between working and procrastinating. If I continue procrastinating, the costs of that choice will be way too high. So the options I would realistically consider are continuing on my current path or choosing another kind of work. Maybe it would be worth it to give up autonomy to return to having a boss I could resent instead of resenting myself.
That choice would be an enormous loss. If I chose it, it would entail some grief but also significant benefits. That option is so unappealing to me that thinking about it does give me a motivational boost when I think about it.
The decision to change or not is a crucial point in this process. It’s an excellent spot to circle or highlight and come back to review it.
Let’s say I take the steps in this post, and procrastination still causes me problems. I’d do well to revisit my lists. Are they convincing? Do I want to try again to change my procrastination? Or is there another option (like a different job) I should consider?
Your turn.
I’ll turn that question to you: if you’re a procrastinator, what’s your list of advantages and reasons to stick with it? What does it show about your core values that you wouldn’t want to give up? What would be painful about stopping?
If you find it difficult to answer those questions, don’t be alarmed - we are awash in “positive thinking” and “powering through.” It’s challenging to turn that around and find genuine beauty in the habits we think of as “bad.” Give it some time. Keep trying. If you reach for them, you’ll probably come up with compelling answers.
Write them Down!
I know, I know. It’s unappealing. You’re in the middle of reading and want to keep going. When I face this moment, I roll my eyes and keep reading because I don’t like to interrupt what I’m in the middle of and start something else. All I can tell you is that the more I’ve challenged that impulse and a) started writing things down by hand and b) made an effort to come up with answers to these questions on my own, the more I’ve gotten out of these exercises.
So I’m going to give you some pictures to look at here. For the sake of your escape from procrastination, I hope that you will use the photo break to get out a pen and make your lists. You want to make three lists: advantages of procrastinating, disadvantages of change, and values that show up in my procrastination.
Welcome back!
Did you come up with anything good? Surprising? I wouldn’t be shocked if that exercise was challenging. We’re not used to thinking about a habit like procrastination that way. We call them “bad” habits and reject them. That creates some problems, though!
We are the ones “doing” the habits. If we reject the habits, we reject ourselves.
The more we reject ourselves, the more we struggle to reach our goals.
What’s the purpose of the goal after all? You want to complete a task. Great. Then what? Then you get a reward! Then what? Do you feel content or satisfied then? Or do you push it aside and strive for the next thing? If your long-term goal is joy, appreciating the beautiful humanity in your current habits and your flawed self is the only way I know.
And an even more critical question: Do you want to change something? On a scale of 0-100, how motivated are you to make a change?
I stayed in a kind of limbo for a while on this question. It took me some time to recognize that procrastination was a problem and then some more time for me to decide that it was a problem worth tackling.
My big reason for working (despite the great reasons not to) is that my most deeply held values depend on getting more done. To reach my long-term goals and build the life I want for myself, I sometimes need to do difficult, tedious, annoying work. I am also confident that those long-term goals are ones I would choose again today. I want this career, this job, this path.
It’s the price I have to pay
As tough as it will be to develop a new working style, I can’t think of a way to get around it and still reach my long-term goals.
What happens if you imagine the opposite? I’m going to close my eyes here and imagine not just staying in the status quo but entirely embracing a do-nothing life. It doesn’t sound appealing, though - it sounds awful. Distracting myself with video games and phone scrolling would eventually be miserable. I have goals and ambitions and would feel devastated to give up on them.
Motivation comes after you get started.
Finally, when I have a good day, when I hit my stride and do the boring, annoying, and challenging work, it FEELS SO GOOD. It feels 100 times better than scrolling on my phone and looking up to see that hours have passed to a game of Emotions Roulette. Just as procrastination and depression are linked, making progress toward a goal is a great way to improve my mood.
Wait, am I just contradicting myself? Were all those “good reasons” a setup?
The core values I found in the Triple Paradox are genuine. I will need to find other ways to meet my need for social connection and give myself breaks.
It will be a slog to choose, not once but every day, to keep my eyes on task and catch myself when I start looking for distractions. I will struggle to be gentle with myself when I slip up!
It also feels exciting to try. It feels powerful to decide that I have agency and can do hard things. I can meet my goals.
The real goal is to feel good about my time.
My long-term reasons for working are rewards I can’t possibly collect for a long time. I’ll need to find ways to keep nudging myself towards them. In the short term, though, one reward I’m hoping for is to have a less-fragmented work brain.
Ideally, in my less-procrastinating future, I will take intentional long breaks to do something I enjoy. The status quo of sneaking in distractions is draining and unsatisfying.
Changing might mean I enjoy work more.
I generally feel calmer on days when I don’t distract myself or avoid tasks. Using paper more than I do right now makes me less frantic. Sticking with a dilemma until I decide what to do is challenging but frees up my brain for other thoughts.
I will be more aware of the things I’m avoiding and dedicate time to facing the fact that they exist. When I confront them head-on, I can avoid the trap of prolonging the inevitable and trashing the rest of my workday.
Step Five: Pinpoint Unhelpful Thoughts
Next up, I want to figure out the thoughts I have right before I switch to checking my email or scrolling on social media. Switching from working to distracting feels like an automatic, beyond-my-input process.
Nonetheless, I know from experience that it may feel unconscious, but I’m avoiding or engaging with my work because of thoughts. If I have the thought, “I have one hour to finish this whole presentation, and my reputation depends on doing a great job, I will likely be focused and effective. If I’m thinking, “eh, this project isn’t that important. I might as well read up on the news,” I won’t get any work done.
Every minute at my desk, I think about my work, my time, getting a snack, my deadlines, and how appealing, justified, or sensible it would be to avoid the hard stuff.
I imagine that at least one of my thoughts will be familiar to you:
I need to know the answer to this question right now! I should google it or check my email.
I need and deserve a distraction because this is painful and boring or makes me feel guilty or anxious. I should play a game on my phone.
I have nothing to say - why not read what other people have written? I should check my email or scroll through social media.
It’ll only take a minute. Go ahead. Scroll on your phone.
I’ll feel better after I click away to something else. Do it!
Ooh, I bet there’s a product for that. I should click away from my writing and do some online shopping right now.
It’s so comfortable here on the couch - getting up and starting my work takes so much effort. Don’t get up! Just stay right here.
It doesn’t matter if I get work done today anyway. I can do it tomorrow or the day after; no one will know the difference. Screw it. I’m not working.
What do you think?
Do any of those thoughts resonate with you? Do you have a hard time believing that “today” matters or that one tiny drop will someday fill the bucket? I’m right there with you. When you think about the thing you’re avoiding, what springs to your mind? Write down the thoughts you notice that discourage you from getting started.
Our thoughts link directly to our actions.
These thoughts each include a “nudge” or a “call to action.” It’s a part of a thought we wouldn’t ordinarily articulate because it’s understood. It might not occur to me that “go ahead, scroll on your phone” is part of the message, but that’s the action that immediately follows. Thinking , “It’ll only take a minute,” encourages the action of choosing a distraction over the task at hand.
It’s important to notice those calls to action because, in a minute, when we challenge them, the nudge will be the primary target.
Step Six: Generate Helpful Thoughts
My next step is to see if I can convincingly disagree with each thought and dissolve its power. A lot of the unhelpful thoughts make sense on their own, or would be harmless if they didn’t come with a nudge. That’s why, in the following technique, your focus will be on that second part of the thought - the one that discourages you from getting started.
If I’m able to come up with helpful thoughts now, I’ll also be able to shift my thinking the next time I want to avoid something. Even when temptation is high, I’ll remember what I came up with and respond differently than I have in the past.
Find a helper!
This technique is especially effective if you can go through it as a role play with another person. We feel things differently when we speak our thoughts out loud and when someone else is there to keep us honest.
If you have someone willing to go through the exercise with you, have them play the role of your temptation and try to persuade you to distract yourself or avoid working.
Your job is to refute them convincingly.
I have never met a person who wasn’t hesitant to ask someone to do this incredibly dorky exercise with them! You might be surprised at how willing your friends or partners will be. Lots of people like to be able to offer help, and it might even benefit them. I guarantee they have a habit they’ve tried to change, and this process could be a revelation to them.
Cross-examine your procrastination thoughts
What we’ve been describing is called the Devil’s Advocate technique. Again, it’s most effective as a role play with another person, but you can also do it solo. If you’re working alone, it still works best if you speak out loud.
It will feel bizarre to stand in front of a mirror and talk to yourself. It will almost certainly be more effective if you do. When we write, we use a more removed, analytical part of ourselves than when we speak out loud.
In the two-person version, I got a friend to play the role of the tempting thoughts, and they read back the thoughts above, being as persuasive as possible.
“C’mon, stay in bed. These covers are soooo comfy, and you’re not going to get anything real done today anyway.” My job was to come up with a thought that a) I genuinely believe and b) would plausibly outmatch the tempting thought.
What are your thoughts?
Before I share the positive thoughts I came up with, what are the thoughts that lead you to procrastinate? Are they anything like mine? What’s the tempting thought that’s most specific to you?
Wait!
Have you written them down yet? Trust me when I say it will help to write them down—napkin, notebook, word processor, wherever.
And one more thing before you read on: don’t try the role-play yourself, until you’ve read the “important notes” to avoid common pitfalls.
My Responses
Here’s how it went when I did the role play:
You need to know the answer to this question right now! (so you should google it or check your email).”
Nice try - I think I’ll try writing it down and looking it up later. If I take your advice, the next thing I know, I’ll have four open tabs and 40 lost minutes.
“You need and deserve a distraction because this is painful and boring or makes you feel guilty or anxious (you should play a game on your phone).”
It is painful and tedious; you’re not wrong about that. But I think I deserve to feel good at the end of the day. I won’t get that if I listen to you. I almost always feel good at the end of the day when I do hard things. In fact, the more I practice liking myself, the more I’ll celebrate myself for putting in the hard work.
“You have nothing to say - why not read what other people have written? (you should check your email or scroll social media).”
That’s an excellent point - my work probably isn’t all that interesting! It would be fun to read something else instead. If I did that, though, I’d be putting my long-term goals off even longer. Reading what other people have written is more fun today, but it prolongs this pain. If I decide how to spend my time based on whether or not I think I have anything valuable to say, I’ll be stuck here forever. Besides, the only way to improve is to start trying!
“It’ll only take a minute. (Go ahead. Scroll on your phone).”
That is tempting, but you and I know it never takes just one minute. I’ll take a break soon, and I’ll be able to scroll then.
“I’ll feel better after I click away to something else. (Do it.)”
You aren’t entirely wrong! I do feel better for a minute when I click away. It’s a relief to distract myself from my work. When I do that, though, it’s not just that I lose time; I also come back feeling drained. I cycle through so many emotions that I usually end up discouraged and upset at the end instead of recharged. I need all the energy I can get to finish my work. I don’t like the feeling, and I’m better off without it. No thanks.
“Ooh, I bet there’s a product for that. (I should go check Amazon right now).”
Write it down. You can look for it later if you even still want it.
It’s so lovely here on the couch - getting up and starting takes so much effort. (Don’t get up - stay here!).”
I do love the couch. The couch is excellent. There’s no pressure when I’m on the couch. I’m distracted and engaged - I’ve got my phone game and my podcasts and social media - but when I spend time that way, it doesn’t even feel like leisure, so it doesn’t feel like a reward. It feels fleeting and vacant. I get sad that all my days feel the same, but some of that is because I use up “fun” time on stuff that doesn’t feel all that fun. It mostly just feels like getting away with something. That’s nice occasionally, but it’s getting in the way of my goals and draining all my energy.
“What does it matter if I get work done today anyway? I could do it tomorrow or the day after, and no one will know the difference. (Screw it. I’m not working).”
This one is always convincing, so congrats on almost winning. This part of working without short-term deadlines and frequent accountability is a HUGE challenge! I’m not alone in finding it difficult. So you’re right that it won’t matter to anyone else if I don’t get work done today, but it will matter to me. It will change how I feel at the end of the day, and as abstract as it feels, it will affect my long-term goals.
Partner: be tough!
Don’t get into a battle, but if you think that your procrastinator’s responses are a little weak, check in with them. Make sure to ask which thought would win the next time they’re struggling. The next time you’re staring down a dreaded task, those thoughts will pop up again, and they will be powerful! Have your partner push back on your new thoughts to test how convincing you can be. Don’t settle for a positive thought that wouldn’t win the fight.
Important Notes And Troubleshooting
Be prepared for the first round not to go smoothly. If you suddenly notice that you’re in an argument with your role-play partner,
Pause the role-play! This is an excellent moment for a time-out.
Look carefully at the thought that has you stuck. It might be a problem that needs brainstorming. An example could be: “I can’t possibly work because my desk is awful and uncomfortable.” Write the thought down on a separate piece of paper and move on to the next thought. That sheet of paper will become a problem-solution list in a later step.
If the next thought gets you stuck again, and it isn’t a thought that needs brainstorming, look back at your list of good reasons to procrastinate. Are you sure that you genuinely do want to stop procrastinating?
Motivation check
If you’re still reading and doing a role-play, you probably do want to change. Still, there might be something you haven’t addressed yet that’s getting in the way. Maybe you resent your work. Perhaps you still harbor a tiny hope that there’s another way through this gauntlet. If you don’t want to stop procrastinating, you will get no judgment from me. Changing is more challenging than we give it credit for being, and there are many good reasons to stop trying.
Where would you put your motivation level on a scale from zero to a hundred? Has it changed at all from when you first answered the question? Sometimes, when we’re clear-eyed about what real change would cost us, it doesn’t seem worth the price anymore. Has your motivation wavered? Is it worth considering other options?
We’re used to thinking of procrastination as an entirely harmful habit, but there’s always a good reason to keep it up. Some possibilities
It could signal that you aren’t committed to the work you’re avoiding or the outcome it promises. Maybe the procrastination is there because you haven’t admitted that the long-term payoff isn’t worth it to you. Let’s imagine a friend of yours started grad school because of someone else’s expectations but secretly wants to be a house painter. Would you be surprised or judge them harshly if they struggled to finish their assignments?
It could be that you’re scared to find out whether you’ll be able to stop procrastinating. Feeling discouraged is protective! If you were naive and waltzed into a new day of work thinking you would have an easy time focusing for 8 hours straight, you’d be in for a big disappointment—your fear of trying shows you’re realistic. You’ve learned from experience that there might be some challenges. It also keeps you from getting your hopes up only to have them dashed again and again.
It could be that you love how you choose to spend your time when you’re procrastinating and don’t want to stop. I know I get skittish when I think about demanding total focus from myself. If I imagine flipping a switch that would compel me to do that, I would be hesitant to flip the switch.
Considering all that and measuring your motivation again, where do you stand? Do you want to try again? If you still want to stop procrastinating, give it another shot.
If you’re still stuck and you’ve noticed that your motivation has dropped, this could be a moment to reconsider your plans and priorities. It might be a time to celebrate or grieve letting go of something you’ve been driving yourself to do. Sometimes we keep goals around like we keep shoeboxes that “might be perfect for a diorama someday!”
If you do still want to change, you will likely find a way to keep going until you’ve defeated all the unhelpful thoughts. Take them one at a time and stick with them until your response is more persuasive to you than the original thought. Each time you come up with a new thought, ask yourself, “if I were in a moment of truth, which thought would win? Would I get back to work at that moment, or would I keep avoiding it?”
Once you come up with a thought that’s true and convincing, write it down.
Step Seven: Action Steps and Supportive Tools
If you’ve successfully come up with new thoughts for all but one or two tempting thoughts, it’s time to add some new tools. I’ve described ten tools below. You might recognize some of them – this is probably not the first article you’ve read about ending procrastination! The tools are summarized here as reminders and ideas to get you started. Pick and choose the ones that feel most relevant and important in your circumstances.
Tool #1 Reinforce the New Thoughts
Once you feel confident you can respond to each tempting thought convincingly, find ways to reinforce the responses. You could do this by shortening them to be easier to remember. If you can summarize your positive thoughts in one or two words, you’ll be more likely to call them to mind in difficult moments. You can write your one-or-two-word reminders on post-it notes and put them on your desk or computer monitor. You could make a list of them and read them at the start of each workday to keep them fresh in your mind.
The tempting thoughts have had a lot of repetitions, and you’ve likely had a lot of practice showing yourself that you aren’t capable of focusing. It’ll take some repetition of the positive thoughts to start to convince yourself otherwise.
Tool #2 Problem Solution List
We mentioned this above. Create a problem-solution list. Make two columns on a sheet of paper with problems on one side and possible solutions on the other:
Problems
I still need to spend time on email! If I stop checking it idly, I’ll miss messages and let people down.
I don’t always notice when I switch to checking email.
Solutions
I can set aside times during the day to work on email and make the process more active.
Install software that blocks specific websites so I can decide ahead of time not to use them. (I use Freedom on my desktop to help with this and “focus mode” on my phone. They only work in supportive mode - I can always find ways around them if I don’t have my mind set on focusing.).
I can set reminders to take frequent breaks throughout the day to check in on my level of focus.
I can acknowledge that I’ll probably slip up a few times a day, but I’ll be improving. Over time, it’ll get easier to notice what I’m doing before I start.
Tool #3: Bit by Bit
This tool is also known as “little steps for big feats,” but I couldn’t pass up this opportunity.
Break your project down into the smallest steps you can think of. Let’s imagine you need to make a phone call you’re dreading. The steps might be:
Track down the phone number
Write down what you plan to say
Practice the script
Make the phone call
If you have this written on your list as simply “call so-and-so,” adding the step of finding the number could make a big difference. If you’re creating a presentation, you might need to write an outline, find some quotes, track down photos to add, and write the text for one slide (then the next). “Write the text of one slide” is less intimidating than “come up with a presentation.”
Bit by bit leads quite nicely into the Five-Minute Rule.
Tool #4: The Five-Minute Rule
Set a timer for five minutes, then take the very first, most minimal steps you can on something you’ve been avoiding. You can keep going if you’re on a roll when the timer goes off, but you only get credit for those first five minutes.
I learned from David Burns that motivation follows action, not the other way around. We usually expect to feel like working before we start, but we typically don’t get that sweet, sweet fuel until we have a little momentum. Getting started and feeling engaged with the process, realizing our capabilities, and experiencing the satisfaction of accomplishment can light a fire.
And if you’re extra good at this one, you’ll challenge yourself to stop at the five-minute mark and feel good about it! Getting started is an accomplishment.
Tool #5: Convenience (i.e., easy to approach, hard to avoid)
Help yourself out by making it easier to do what you’re asking of yourself and harder to fall back on old habits.
Let’s illustrate the idea behind this tool by talking about flossing. If you were trying to get in the habit of flossing your teeth, you might go so far as to leave the dental floss on your pillow after you get out of bed in the morning so that you won’t be able to climb into bed at night without being reminded of your goal.
Is there anything you can do to make it more appealing to dive in on your project? Are there tools that would make it more inviting? A change to your workspace? Would some “digital wellbeing” tools help you meet your goals? Are there barriers to avoidance that you could put up?
Some ideas just to get the ball rolling, but this will be very specific to you and the things that get in your way:
Stop a subscription to a news site you always read
Unplug your video game console or put the controllers somewhere inconvenient.
Make the lighting and temperature in your workspace more comfortable.
Are you using the right tools to support the work you’re trying to do? Satisfying pens? Well-functioning keyboard? Comfortable chair?
Set your phone to display in black and white to make it less inviting.
The goal is to think creatively. You want to remove any friction between you and getting to work and add some obstacles to all your distractions.
Tool #6: Accountability Support
Some people benefit from having one person keep track of their goals and progress. You could recruit a friend, a family member, a coach, or a therapist. Ask them to talk to you on a recurring schedule and expect you to accomplish specific tasks. You decide how frequently you want to check in - daily, weekly, monthly - then set goals for the period in question and report on how you’ve done.
It’s essential to choose someone who will be the right combination of kind and strict. If your support person is too cuddly, meetings will devolve into lists of reasons your plans fell through. Too rigid, and you’ll start avoiding or resenting them, risking an otherwise meaningful relationship.
If the stars align just right, you might know someone who’s also dealing with procrastination, and the relationship will be mutually supportive. You might even discover that being vulnerable about your goals and setbacks brings you closer!
You’ll notice that detailed and specific goals will be critical for this tool and the one that follows. Both tools will be way more helpful if you can quickly answer “yes” or “no” to the question “did I reach the goal or not.”
Tool #7: Rewards and Punishments
This tool is probably straightforward from the title, but there are some tips for avoiding pitfalls. I’ll start with Punishments first because I get less excited about them. Self-criticism was my (ineffective) tactic for kicking the procrastination habit for so long. I’m not ready to reach for another form of punishment as my motivation.
Nevertheless, if I had a short-term goal I cared about, I might assign myself a potential punishment to get my butt in gear.
One version of a punishment that has been successful for other TEAM therapists and their clients is the donation threat. First, you’d set a VERY CLEAR goal and deadline. Then write a check to an organization you can’t stand, put it in a stamped, addressed envelope, and give it to a trusted friend. If you don’t meet the goal by the deadline, your friend puts the envelope in the mail.
Helpful tips:
1. I cannot stress this enough: ensure the goal and deadline are crystal clear!
2. Discuss ahead of time any potential pitfalls. Do you want the option of calling a few days before the deadline and renegotiating the deal?
3. Consider keeping the details of the envelope to yourself. If your trusted friend shares your values, they’re more likely to look for ways to cut you a break.
4. Write the check for an amount that would matter to you.
Again, punishment isn’t my favorite tool in this kit, but as my teacher Angela Krumm has pointed out, it can be a valuable gut check. If you don’t want to sign up for this, does that mean you aren’t fully committed to the goal? What’s your motivation to push through any barriers?
As far as my process goes, I prefer rewards at the moment. The key to making this tool work in your favor is familiar territory: will you have a clear yes or no answer to the question “have I met the goal?”
Rewards are one way to work around procrastination’s short-term vs. long-term challenge. If the rewards of working were immediate, we would likely get our work done all the time for the sake of the reward. When the reward is abstract or distant, it’s rational to find it unmotivating. To get around that, we can give ourselves something positive before the big payoff (a degree, a clean garage, the income from a published book) to keep us going.
You know your budget and what would be motivating for you. A client of mine settled on getting herself a new pair of quirky socks every month she met her goal. I haven’t implemented a rewards system for myself yet. Now that I understand my brain better, though, I do make a point of documenting my progress when I can. If I’m cleaning a closet, for example, I take before and after pictures to remind myself what a huge task it was.
I’m also fond of the idea of explicitly Counting the Positive. Discounting the Positive is a trick we pull on ourselves that contributes to depression. When we Discount the Positive, we ignore or dismiss any positives and think of reasons to feel down or discouraged. Counting the Positives is an act of rebellion against my habit of ignoring my strengths and focusing solely on my shortcomings. I plan to do more work to celebrate occasions when I’ve met my intermediate goals.
Tool #8: Temptation Bundling
Is there something you love that you can pair with doing your work? Temptation Bundling is most helpful if you can find something you can conceivably only have access to while doing the task you want to avoid. I don’t personally use temptation bundling for my procrastination habit, but you might be able to think of a way to make it work for you.
Listening to an audiobook could be an effective bundle if your procrastination doesn’t involve mental focus. For example, if you’re putting off cleaning out a closet, you might know it’s going to take multiple sessions to get through the whole thing. You could plan to start a very plotty, compelling novel and only listen to it while working on the closet. Then you’ll want to get back to work to find out what happens next.
When I was brainstorming potential bundles for myself, the first options I considered were coffee and tea. I love them, and they make me happy while I’m working. They wouldn’t work as temptation bundles, though, because I’m not willing to do without them on weekends.
Is there something you could do or have or listen to while you’re getting work done? I have an extremely cozy blanket that, in an alternate universe, could be turned into a “desk only” blanket. Then, when I thought about getting started and wanted to stay away from my desk, the blanket would give the desk some extra pull. Again, this is an alternate universe scenario because I love my blanket too much to designate it to “desk only” status.
If you think of an excellent temptation bundling idea for writing-related procrastination, please email me!
Tool #9: Do This or Do Nothing
“Do This or Do Nothing” is a technique I got from my husband. Years ago, he was stuck on a massive writing project and couldn’t seem to make progress. In desperation, he eventually decided to close himself in a room with a pen and a notebook and set a timer.
For a set period, he had to stay in the room. He didn’t have to work on his project; he would get a win by sitting there quietly. The catch was that sitting there quietly was his only other option. At first, he was stubborn enough to sit there without working, but writing was more appealing than boredom after a while.
This one is particularly appealing to me because I am very easily distracted! When I work at a computer, I find it much more challenging to focus on one thing at a time. When I need to focus, my best setup is a pen, a legal pad, and a nearly-empty room.
Tool #10: Envision Your Dream Outcome in Vivid Detail
One thing that causes a lot of procrastination is that the unpleasant parts of a bargain are clear and present. The rewards might be abstract and distant.
Let’s say the thing you’ve been procrastinating on is a garage-cleaning project. Maybe you think about doing it every time someone mentions hosting a gathering at your house, and you think, “I can’t have people over until there’s space for my car in the garage.”
To use this technique for that problem, you would picture the party you’ll have when you finish cleaning the garage. You could imagine the food, drinks, decorations, the people you’d invite, friends laughing or playing games or hanging out afterward to help you with the dishes. To drive this home, you could write a few paragraphs about it or find a photo that sums up the vision. Either of those could be a reminder and encouragement when the going gets rough.
Procrastination happens when potential rewards are distant, but the costs of getting started are right in front of you. You think about starting work on the garage, but then there’s heavy lifting, decision-making, and problem-solving. Giving yourself a detailed picture of the reason for putting up with all of that makes cleaning feel more rational and reinforces your determination.
Experiment and Log Your Progress
One of the most likely obstacles to success in your efforts is to see them in all-or-nothing terms. We established above that it’s impossible to simply “not procrastinate.” Our attention and focus are constantly in flux. If you get on a roll and then slip up, there’s a risk of feeling like a failure. You might think:
“See? I failed, just like all those other times. I was right - I’m doomed to keep procrastinating.”
If you’re willing to take an experimental view, you might respond something like this:
“Huh! It looks like my attempt wasn’t entirely successful. I did add some drops to my anti-procrastination bucket, but I’m still not where I want to be. Let me look at what happened. Was there anything that seemed even a little helpful? What’s my level of motivation right now to change this problem? Maybe I avoided using some tools because they seemed unappealing, but I need them after all. Maybe there’s some emotional or logistical obstacle in my way. What can I learn from this? What can I do differently?”
Changing a procrastination habit is a marathon. I have repeatedly had a good week, gotten excited about a change, then had a setback. Seeing your efforts as experimental is key to long-term success.
Take notes. Use the guide. Start a notebook or electronic document of your goals and the challenges you discover. There will be setbacks and difficulties you won’t be able to imagine when you initially set your goals. Writing down your wins will give you something to reflect on too. Sometimes, change is so gradual that we miss opportunities to celebrate success - if you have a written record, you’ll see and reinforce them.
Decide now: when will you check in again and re-rate the size of the problem? Will one month be a good time to measure the problem of procrastination in your life? Choose a time frame and set a reminder to yourself to re-rate it on a scale of zero to one hundred.
Next Steps
Procrastination is incredibly common, and its power to create suffering is underrated. If you are dealing with its effects in your life right now, my heart goes out to you. I send you my sincere hopes that you feel less trapped and more hopeful. I recommend returning to this post in a month and re-reading it.
As I’ve progressed, returning to the words has been important for reminding me of the process and my motivation, which often needs refreshing. If you’ve done the work but still feel stuck, I recommend finding a TEAM therapist in your area and walking them through your progress so far. They may just be able to help you get unstuck.
One of the immense rewards of my process has been to experience the short-term rewards of feeling motivated and productive. It’s surprisingly satisfying, and I wish that for you.
Note:
I did not invent the tools and process described here. Most of it was developed by Dr. David Burns, and credit for my understanding and applying them goes to Dr. Angela Krumm. If you’re familiar with TEAM therapy, you’ll recognize many pieces. We started with empathy, developed testing, assessed for reluctance to change, and applied methods. If you’ve never heard of TEAM, you can ignore that sentence and be just fine. If anything here inspired you to look for more resources, I will be delighted.
Cheryl Delaney, MS, LPC
Cheryl Delaney is a therapist who specializes in perfectionism and offers online mental health counseling in the state of Georgia. She loves that therapy means laughing and crying with her clients. When she’s not working, Cheryl is probably listening to a podcast or playing Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.